Starbucks Is Fiction
November 28, 2006
Almost everyone has been to a Starbucks and most of them swear by it because why? Because it's simply the thing to do. The coffee is overpriced and the lattes aren't good. But what irritates me the most of the B.S. terminology they have implemented for the various sizes one can order. "Tall" equates to small and "grande" doesn't even mean biggest, baddest, most awesome cup of coffee ever. No, it means medium. And "venti?" What the hell is with that? starBUCK you, son.
I went into a Starbucks and only knew for sure that I wanted a medium something. "Grande!" a boisterous voice said from behind the counter. (I wonder what they call the counter... it wouldn't surprise me if they pronounced it in a French fashion—count-tay.) "I don't know what you want, but I do know that a medium is a 'grande.'" Well EFF THAT. I will not be forced to conform to a fictional coffee nomenclature. Starbucks does not feed you coffee and pastries—they feed you LIES.
2 comment(s)
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1. weens said:
venti = 20 in italian, which makes sense considering you get a 20 ounce drink when you order that size.
the terminology is just all a marketing tactic (which i'm sure you realize), and it makes perfect sense to me since that was my life for four years. but i can see it being completely obnoxious for some consumers. like you. :P
11.30.06, 04:51 PM
2. teeves said:
Oh, Italian. Well that makes sense, especially since Starbucks is Italian for "We're idiots that hit it big."
On another note, I like the new name, Weens.
11.30.06, 05:50 PM
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