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S Is for Silent

July 10, 2006

Part of my duties at work is to answer whatever sales calls get directed into my office space. (I can't call it my office since, even though I'm now the only person that's permanently stationed in the room, it has three other computers for potential users; plus a small testing station, computer that handles the printers, two printers, and the fax machine. This means that people occasionally mosey in and out to use the resources.) I'm sure everyone has been on the phone with a customer service representative and had to spell out their name, street address, or something that is difficult to hear and understand. Other times there's a word that, in retrospect, is so simple to spell that you can't believe you just asked someone to spell "bike." Hey, I wouldn't have asked if you would have eNUNciated properly.

People on the other end usually know which words are difficult for other people to understand, so they automatically spell the word after it has been said. The problem is that now that they've said the word and started spelling it, they have to relate each letter to a different word that begins with that letter in order for it to be understood correctly—A as in Apple, B as in Boy, C as in Cat, etcetera. You can tell those who have had some sort of military-esque training because they'll bypass the "A as in" part and go straight for the letter-starting word—Alpha, Beta, and Charlie, for example. The crafty people only relate letters to words when they are very commonly mistaken, such as B-D-E-G-T-V, F-S, or M-N.

One of these days I plan to throw everyone for a loop and relate letters to words with silent first letters. "Yes, sir, that's P for Pneumonia, E for Eunuch, M for Mnemonic..."

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