merry christmas. that's right — i said it.
December 25, 2005
i am writing this during the early morning of christmas eve, yet i've scheduled it to publish on christmas day. hurrah to the power of the internet and a (rather crappy) cable connection.
i imagine that the two days ahead (i haven't gone to bed for christmas eve-eve night, so the day hasn't ended) will be fill with good shopping and good eats. the family has unofficially decided to have a turkey dinner only on thanksgiving. when christmas comes around the mother will cook her family a fancy dish native to her country of origin in lieu of the traditional holiday ham and turkey. score one for the turkeys.
there will be a different football game on every television and the father will be downstairs shouting in his strong khmer accent "kill 'em!" and "[quarter back] play like-a shit" (sic). the family's bellies will be plump and food-induced comas will aid them in taking a family nap hour.
during commercial breaks for the football games the dopey announcers will appear for 30-second stints to wish everyone a merry christmas. if they switch it to "happy holidays" i can only shake my head in disappointment. i'm not christian and i'm not offended; i dig christmas time. i like exchanging presents and getting festive and looking at pretty trees and driving around to see light displays on the neighborhood houses &mdash that's all cool shit. i live in america and the majority of americans celebrate christmas. if i moved to cambodia i'd have to deal with everybody celebrating buddhism. if i moved in with tom cruise i'd have to deal with a scientologist. (i might be forced to kill someone if that ever happened.)
don't you like the company christmas function and the secret santa bullshit game for which you'd purchase a mug at the dollar store only to receive a deck of dirty playing cards in exchange? what about getting hopped up on the open bar's booze and messing with the copy machine? what about hooking up with the office hottie in the break room? the company party alone is worth any offense that the term "christmas" could convey.
minus a few points for making most families have to gather in large crowds, in tight quarters, and always with the two annoying cousins that bitch and moan the entire time, christmas. i'm not sure if everyone wants to forgive you for that one.
chugging right along here, i'm sure christmas will be swell and the new year even better. drink lots of spiked eggnog for me. cheers.
1 comment(s)
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1. H. (aka NC_State_gal) said:
Merry Christmas. I am also up at an incredibly ludicrous hour...cursed insomnia :).
12.25.05, 05:41 AM
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