sell your soul for $1
November 14, 2005
i was reminded of a time when one of my signature "i'll give you a dollar if..." bets actually worked on someone. my brother and i were driving around when his friend called. "swing by my house in five minutes," he said. he lived on the same street as we did, only he lived up the street in the biggest house in the neighborhood.
i maneuvered my car toward the friend's house as i was doing a crime watch shift. after the shift was over he needed to stop by the corner store to pick up a few essentials which included a small container of listerine pocket pak strips [sic]. if you've never had the pleasure of trying one, they feel like plastic that dissolves freakishly easily and taste like cough drops. good shit, and great for clearing the sinuses as well. the key here is that each strips burns for a moment like a little wash of listerine.
"i'll give you a dollar if you eat the entire pack," i provoked the stupid friend.
"...uhhh, i don't know. this thing cost more than a dollar," he replied.
"hell, if you'll do it i'll throw in another dollar!" my brother chimed.
"hah, okay!" stupid friend said.
and he did it. he took out his remaining 21 strips and stuck every single one into his mouth simultaneously. i was tripping out. there we were, three dumbasses sitting in a car parked in front a house owned by a doctor and physical therapist on prozac, floored by their son who thought a burning mouth was worth two bucks. he even took a swig of his soda to wash it all down. he told my brother later that night that his mouth was all effed up for a few hours afterward. by the way, the stupid friend is currently in law school. fear for your life.
other things my friends have done for the initial offer of one dollar? one ate two tablespoons of butter; he ended up getting another dollar from his roommate due to the gross factor. another attempt of monetary pride-trashing was getting a friend to eat squeezy-cheesy-dog food out of a kong. he wouldn't do it until a bunch of friends chipped in some cash and got the total up to $13 and change. even canine saliva and dog hair on a lightly toasted cracker has its price.
it's actually quite difficult to get someone to fall for the $1 bet as i usually try for something that's more in the $5 range just to test whose ego and pride can be bought cheaply. occasionally i'll pique someone's interest, but rarely will they follow through. it makes me sad.
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